Families

A Forever Family – Just in Time for the Holidays

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Five-year-old Salome was peppering Minerva Scott with questions constantly. But Minerva loved every minute of it.

“Mommy, is this blue?”

“Can I get another one?

“Is he a stranger?”

“Can I have more balloons?”

Five-year-old Salome was peppering Minerva Scott with questions constantly. But Minerva loved every minute of it.

Minerva, Salome and the rest of the Scott family – father Brent, 13-year-old Joseph, 7-year-old Malik, 6-year-old Uriel and three grandparents – were waiting to get called in to the court room to finalize the adoptions of Joseph, Uriel and Salome. Malik was adopted into the family in 2009.

To celebrate National Adoption Month, the San Diego County Health and Human Services Agency Foster and Adoptive Resource Family Services held an Adoptions Court party where 29 children had their adoptions finalized.

“It’s been perfect since the moment they came into our lives,” said Brett Scott. “We fell in love with each one of them.”

When the Scotts met Salome and Uriel, the bonding began instantly. When Salome first saw her new mom, she ran up and gave her a huge hug. That began a process that lasted about a year and led to today’s adoption finalization. (The process normally involves a 6-month period for the children to be placed in a home before they are adopted. But Joseph didn’t decide to be adopted until the home placement for his siblings was almost over, and so they had to wait until his 6 months was over to finalize everything).

The Scotts decided after adopting Malik that they would like a little girl. Four months after speaking to the adoptions social worker, they got a call that said there was a little girl who would be perfect, but she had a brother (Uriel). And then they found out about Joseph, who had not been living with his brother and sister.

Joseph tested the waters and spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Scott family and decided it was a good fit for him too. “We were like ‘teenager’?” said Minerva. “We weren’t sure we were going to be the right fit for him, but we have so much support from the County that we decided we’d go for it.”

Despite a little initial hesitation on Joseph’s part – he had spent much of the past few years homeless and in shelters – he has flourished with his new family. “He went from having straight F’s to B+’s in a matter of one semester,” said Minerva. “He’s adjusting. When you’re taking someone else’s last name, it’s like you’re losing a part of yourself. But he’s working through it.”

Minerva told him that when she got married, she didn’t even change her last name for more than a year. “I told him it’s kind of not the same thing, but it is.”

“He said no one ever cared about his grades,” said Arlene Lopez, the children’s social worker. “I knew the Scotts had what it takes. They’re very hands on and they’ve been great. They’re wonderful.”

For his part, Joseph finally knows he has a family who cares for him and supports him. Even though he was separated from his siblings, he was basically the father figure for Uriel. “When he came to our home, he first took on the father role,” said Minerva. “He’s stepped back from that and we tell him to just be a kid – go do your thing. He’s adjusting to the kid role – sometimes too well.

“When he does something that a teenager does, sometimes we have to think is this what a normal teenager does? We have to ask ourselves what is the appropriate punishment.”

It wasn’t actually hard to figure out. As Joseph settles in to being a normal teenager, some things become predictable. “His punishment we figured out finally – it’s his cell phone,” said Minerva. “We figured that one out and he got in ship shape right away.”

There have been adjustments for everyone else as well, but they’ve been good adjustments. Salome just had a big birthday party. “It was like her quinceanera, but cinco,” said Minerva. “She just turned five and she’d never had a birthday party. Last year, she wanted to go to Disneyland and this year she wanted a party, so my husband was like let’s go all out.”

Malik, who went through his own adjustment to being adopted, gets to be a big brother now. “He’s prepping them for the teddy bear,” said Minerva. “When he got adopted he got a teddy bear, so he told them all last night ‘you’re going to get a special bear’ and he talked to them about what the judge is going to do today.”

Minerva and Brett have also been busy setting up college funds, buying more life insurance and other routine matters. “It’s been an adjustment. My parents live with us so the kids don’t go to day care and the school is three doors down.

The Scotts are also thankful for the County’s role in expanding their family. “Every time there is a speed bump, we always have somewhere to turn,” said Minerva. “That’s something we really appreciate. Every time I have an issue there are four or five people I can call and they send me in the right direction and in a matter of a day I have phone calls from people helping me. It’s a huge support network.”

And that support network never ends. After the judge signed the final paperwork and the family had a moment to relax, Brett issued a blanket invitation to the County workers who helped them through the process.

“They’re going to be invited to every birthday party,” he said. “So we’ll be seeing them a lot.”

If you are interested in giving a loving child or a set of siblings a forever family, please visit www.iadoptu.org, call 1-877-I-ADOPT-U (877-423-6788) or email info@iadoptu.org.

Tom Christensen is a communications specialist with the County of San Diego Communications Office. Contact